Anonymous said: If you haven't seen the rest of Friendlyjordies's videos, I highly recommend. It's like hailing the lizard king from the comfort of your own home.

I agree! You heard the floating grey ball everyone: go watch FriendlyJordie’s videos.

Why you won’t be able to go to University

MAKE SURE YOU SIGN THE PETITION TO STOP THE CUTS: https://getup.org.au/higher-education

trueclit:

why does Tony Abbott always look he’s up to something

trueclit:

why does Tony Abbott always look he’s up to something

(Source: noidedmag)

Anonymous said: I have now lived in Australia for ten years making me a permanent resident so today I went out and bought some Winnie blues and an Aussie flag lighter. #REALPATRIOT

YEAH M8! Time for a celebratory barbie!

Tags: ask anon

Anonymous said: I'M GONNA SHUVE SOME COAL UP MY ASS AUSSIE OI OI OI OI GET IT RIGHT UP THERE M8

THAT’S THE SPIRIT! NOW YOU’RE GETTING IT! YEAH! OI OI OI!

Tags: ask anon

lazywriterboy said: Did you see when he said: "we should be able to criticise them when they make stupid decisions!"

"Of course they should be free to do what they want but when they make stupid decisions we should be free to criticise them," Mr Abbott said.

"And this is a whopper of a dumb idea. They’re like… massive dumb-dumb heads, or uh, something, uh… that is to say… the economy is better if we crush all opposition to coal. Mighty coal." He leaned in and whispered in a deep menacing voice. "Coal. Is. Your. God. Now."

"And speaking of stupid decisions my next door neighbour has this orange floral skirt she wears at times and it’s absolutely hideous. It doesn’t match any of her shirts at all and I want to go on public record in saying that. Gross.”

Tony Abbott has attacked Australia National University’s decision to stop investing in fossil fuel companies.

"You humans with your stupid minds! Stupid! Stupid!" he yelled with a harsh reptilian hissing. He banged his claws against his desk in time with his booming voice. "Coal is the future! Coal is the future! Coal is the future!"

"ALL HAIL THE LIZARD KING!" he screeched. "CLIMATE CHANGE IS INEVITABLE! ACCEPT YOUR FATE!"

A report has found that the electoral seats for Tony Abbott, Joe Hockey, and other Liberal/Coalition party members are the least affected by the budget with declines in disposable income as small as 0.1%. 

"Well of course," Joe "when I said even I had to do heavy lifting I meant standing up" Hockey said. "That’s because rich privileged people who have everything handed to them their lives vote for us. We’re not going to hurt our chances of keeping our seats are we? Or even our own wallets. That’s ridiculous! Rich people and being rich ourselves are important to us!" Joe Hockey then gave a snort of derision at someone walking past who looked middle class.

"So yeah anyway poor people are just gonna have to stop being so lazy if they’re going to survive the winter…" he said. "We’re not going to pay your heating bills for you!" Then he and his entire neighbourhood lit up cigars and chuckled heartily with little murmurs of things like "mm-yes", "ah, caviare!", "let’s have a spot of horse riding on the weekend mmm" and "winter is coming! Ahaha!"

Anonymous said: So I work with a group in brisbane planning an event, and we just got an email offering a spot working at G20. I'm almost considering it for the slight chance I might get to see Putin bitch slap Tony

Be at the ready to instagram their interactions at a moments notice. You’d get the best image on Earth if that happened.

Tags: ask anon

huffyhipster:

theabbottchronicles:

unsustain-unsustainable:

theabbottchronicles:

theabbottchronicles:

All Hail The Lizard King shirt (print and iphone case) now available at redbubble! Now you can show the world the true reptilian face of Tony Abbott!

15% OFF FOR A LIMITED TIME! USE THE CODE “RBTEES15” FOR SHIRTS! http://www.redbubble.com/people/abbottchronicle/works/12674404-all-hail-the-lizard-king?p=t-shirt If you wished the shirts were slightly cheaper then here’s your chance!

i finally bought one of these yesterday as soon as i got paid, used the code and everything woo

Thank you! I hope you enjoy it when it arrives!

Can Amurricans buy one to piss off their relatives?

Anyone can buy one to piss off their relatives! The more relatives pissed off the better!

huffyhipster:

theabbottchronicles:

unsustain-unsustainable:

theabbottchronicles:

theabbottchronicles:

All Hail The Lizard King shirt (print and iphone case) now available at redbubble! Now you can show the world the true reptilian face of Tony Abbott!

15% OFF FOR A LIMITED TIME! USE THE CODE “RBTEES15” FOR SHIRTS! http://www.redbubble.com/people/abbottchronicle/works/12674404-all-hail-the-lizard-king?p=t-shirt If you wished the shirts were slightly cheaper then here’s your chance!

i finally bought one of these yesterday as soon as i got paid, used the code and everything woo

Thank you! I hope you enjoy it when it arrives!

Can Amurricans buy one to piss off their relatives?

Anyone can buy one to piss off their relatives! The more relatives pissed off the better!